These wonderful Lego ads remind me of one of my favorite series in Mad magazine from the 1970s: Sergio Aragones’s “The Shadow Knows” …

“The Love of Paris and Helen,” 1788 Jacques-Louis David (1748–1825)

Last night, my wife and I briefly discussed a currently popular slogan, apparently coined by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich:

I’m glad to learn that the “meaning” of her accidental slogan isn’t clear to its creator. I think the way it’s commonly used, however, is pretty clear: "making history" is a good thing, therefore behaving badly is also a good thing.

Libertarians are likely to have a particular spin on this. One of our complaints is that history is very much taught as if "making history" is a good thing.

For example, the most famous American presidents tend to be the biggest war hawks and economic interventionists. This doesn’t just make them popular; according to several polls, including polls of American history professors, it makes them "the best" presidents. I’m with Bob Higgs in his call for "No More Great Presidents."

So those of us who are suspicious of mainstream, academic-left, and knee-jerk feminism might be tempted to reply to the popular Ulrich slogan,

Having said that, however, I will note that women get a bum rap in ancient history and myth, and the almost universal mysogyny in Homer (expressed even by Athena!) is obvious and unapologetic. It’s only one of the many illiberal cultural assumptions that will make a modern reader uncomfortable.

I don’t know if there ever really was a Trojan War, but I’m pretty sure that if there was, it wasn’t fought over Helen. And even if it was, it’s never been clear to me exactly how much she is supposed to have cooperated with her abduction and therefore never clear to me how much blame she deserves.

Ah, but for the ancients, women were responsible for what was done to them, so nevermind.

Here’s an example of how great shifts in history really can be inspired by man’s love and lust for woman, quoted from Susan Wise Bauer’s blog:

MICHAEL III, EMPEROR IN CONSTANTINOPLE, 842-867

Michael III’s troubles were almost entirely self-inflicted. Since the age of fifteen, he had been sleeping with the same woman, his favorite mistress Eudokia Ingerina. However, his mother announced that Ingerina was not an acceptable wife, and instead ordered him to marry a woman she had hand-picked for him, Eudokia Dekapolitissa. Michael seems to have had trouble defying his mother; he agreed to marry Dekapolitissa, and then after the wedding ignored her and went right on sleeping with Ingerina.

The patriarch disapproved of this crowded marriage, and to preserve appearances, Michael married his mistress Ingerina off to his best friend, a horse-trainer from Macedonia named Basil. He continued sleeping with her, however, and so that Basil would not be deprived, he brought one of his sisters back out her nunnery and installed her at court as Basil’s mistress.

What with climbing in and out of each others’ beds, Michael III and Basil became closer, and Basil began to get a glimpse of what real power could be like. He began to suggest to Michael III that Michael’s uncle and heir had a little too much influence around the court, and finally convinced Michael to give him permission to murder the unfortunate man. In his uncle’s place, Michael made Basil his co-emperor and heir. In 867, he also legally adopted Basil as his son; he was twenty-seven, Basil was fifty-six.

This weird adoption made a twisted kind of sense. The year before, Ingerina had given birth to a son. Technically, the child was Basil’s. In all likelihood, he was actually Michael’s. So by adopting Basil, Michael became his illegitimate son’s legitimate grandfather, and the little boy, Leo, had a path to legitimately claim the throne.

Unfortunately, the path led through Basil. Now that he was adopted, co-emperor, and heir, Basil had no more use for Michael. After a drunken banquet one night later in 867, Michael III staggered off to bed; Basil’s men murdered the emperor in his sleep, and Basil claimed the crown for himself as Basil I, founder of the new Macedonian Dynasty.