How does Santa know?

The first review explains the concept. The second review is a new art form:

5.0 out of 5 stars

Elf on a Shelf

December 15, 2006

By L. Sicilian “Grateful Mom”

This review is from: The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition with Blue Eyed North Pole Pixie-Elf (Toy)

We just received this as a gift. It is perfect for my 3 year old who is having constant struggles with being a good little boy as he grows more independent. We’ve named our elf and everyday we remind him that his elf is watching him and he instantly stops the negative behavior. He’s even told his wish list for Santa to his elf. It’s been a great motivational tool for improving his behavior when other techniques have failed. Brilliant idea!!

1.0 out of 5 stars

Now what?

December 4, 2010

By Pi (New Mexico)

This review is from: The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition with Blue Eyed North Pole Pixie-Elf (Toy)

So, I bought this adorable elf, whom my three precious children named “Buttface” last year at Christmas time. Before Buttface arrived in our home I was at my wits end. My children would write on the walls with markers, crayons and even oil based paints. They would swing from the light fixture above our dining room table until it finally was pulled out of the ceiling. We had been dining by candlelight even since until Joey decided to light little Jimmy’s hair on fire one night as they fought over who got the red fork at dinner. We couldn’t even have a Christmas tree because Jack would try and climb it, or we would catch Jimmy swinging at it’s trunk with his Boy Scouts ax. I didn’t blame the dear child of course, he was merely using his vivid imagination to play a game of “Lumberjack”. Instead we would have the Christmas Shoe Box for Santa to put the presents in. I don’t care what anyone says, it was just as festive as any old tree. Eventually though I realized that my children were not behaving in a socially acceptable way when the FBI showed up at my door because the boys had called in a bomb threat to get out of a spelling test at school. Terribly upset, I consulted my pediatrician and we both agreed that my children’s behavioral issues were no fault of my own and that the ONLY solution to my discipline problems was “The Elf on The Shelf”.

I brought Buttface out of his box the day after Thanksgiving. For the entire month of December Jimmy, Joey and Jack were perfect angels. Cowering in abject fear over this tiny stuffed doll they behaved as well as the baby Jesus himself. It did make for a few night time bed wetting accidents as they were afraid to get out of bed at night for fear Buttface would be lurking in the hallway. Not once did they bite the dog, cut my hair while I slept or try to hotwire the car. It was a new record in our home. We actually got to have a tree that year and I thought my parenting troubles were over!! Bless you Buttface!

However, on December 26th, giddy with all the loot Santa had bought, which was a lot since they had been so extra good with the help of Buttface, my children knew they were off the hook for the next 11 months! They were back at it again, tipping over our refrigerator, trying to bathe the cat in the dishwasher and scamming old ladies out of their retirement by claiming to be princes from Nigeria in some email scam they had running.

So, in despair, I am asking that there be an elf of this nature to spy on my children and keep them on the straight and narrow year round! I know it would make my life a whole lot easier to know that I had an inanimate object in my house that was keeping my children on the straight and narrow and could take over the parenting duties on a daily basis, not just at Christmas time. Parenting is very hard work and we need all the help we can get. If I don’t have a toy such as this to teach my children right from wrong under the guise of spying on them and denying them presents if they behave badly, how will they ever learn?? Please, please, won’t somebody think of the children!

Update: